Pretty much whatever is going on inside your head determines your level of happiness. Our thoughts have a lot to say to us sometimes, and have the ability to make or break our happiness. I’ve always said, why dwell on it when there’s no reason to? Why let it affect me when I can choose to let it not affect me? And it’s worked wonders.
It’s high time to snap yourself out of those negative, toxic thoughts and choose to just BE HAPPY. You may say it’s easier than it sounds, but trust me…it’s really not 🙂 I know from experience!
TEN THINGS TO STOP THINKING ABOUT, STARTING YESTERDAY
>> That dumb friend
We’ve all been there. Someone who we think is our great, close friend does or says something to screw us over. And what do we get out of it? Confusion, no closure, and hurt feelings. So sure, give yourself some time to process it and cry if you need to, but letting this dumb friend and their actions linger over your head for more than a few days is not worth it. If they decided to let you go for a dumb reason or if they did something really dumb to you where you let THEM go, don’t worry over it. Don’t post statuses about it, don’t check their Instagrams, in fact just delete them off social media and out of your life. It’s so liberating! Toxic person removed. Bye Felicia!
Always choose the high road, don’t look back and dwell, and certainly don’t think that you’re the one who lost out. If they showed their true colors and their colors were brown, black and icky…you’re better off without them in your life. When I was facing a situation like this, one of my really close friends texted me and said regarding the situation: “another thing I like about you, you don’t let people get to you. You take the high road, you’re kind, and you move on. It’s very admirable.” Lean on your true friends, and don’t fret over the ones who were dumb.
>> That dumb guy
The ex from high school who strung you along for years, the guy who broke your heart, the ex who cheated on you (repeatedly), or the guy you thought was the one and turns out he wasn’t. The list of dumb dudes goes on and on, but WHY let them have your tears or thoughts? You obviously weren’t worth keeping around to them, so they should NOT be worth anything to you. Get those dumbs out of your head and hold out for the One who will make sure you know you’re worth pursuing and who will treasure you for life. ❤
>> The stress of work
If you’re stuck in a dumb job, or if your boss is completely unprofessional, if your coworkers aren’t nice, or whatever else might be going on…you have two choices to make. One, you can sulk about and endure it to get the paycheck for as long as you can handle it, or two you can quit and sacrifice the paycheck for the sake of your sanity and happiness. I’ve done it! It’s totally liberating, and so worth it.
If quitting your job isn’t in the picture though, then find something to do at work that makes it fun, plan fun things after work so you have something to look forward to, do the BEST job you can do while you’re working, and once you’re off work for the day or week…JUMP FOR JOY and do fun things! Just because your job sucks doesn’t mean the rest of your day or week has to suck. Keep work at work and you’ll be much happier.
^ Me making the signs at my old job. Kept me sane 😉
>> The past
Wishing you could travel back in time and change decisions you made? Don’t care for where you’re at in life right now, as opposed to where you used to be or could be? Think things would just be better if (insert the thing here)? First, get yourself OUT of that negative mindset. It’s toxic and lingering in the past or what could have been doesn’t give any room for your bright future to happen! And second, let that stupid dumb thing GO, sister. I know this one is one of the harder things to get out of your mind, but with time and a change of attitude it will happen and you’ll thank yourself for it.
My mom just turned 60 in April, and she was going on and on about wanting to look young again, where has life gone, waa waa. I slapped her out of it by raiding her closet and making her some fresh new outfit choices, showed her a new make up style to wear, and most importantly reminded her to praise God for where He’s taken her and how He’s strengthened her by taking her through trials, that she doesn’t even LOOK 60 (just take a gander at these photos, she’s not a day over 45), and that in order to be happy with life you need to accept the past and put it behind you where it belongs, accept the present and make it work (whatever IT is), and embrace your future. Plus, taking her on a Palm Springs Surprise Birthday Weekend helped some, too 😉
>> The future
This is something I am guilty of…over-planning for the future. I’m always about a month to 2 years ahead of schedule hehe. I love to plan and be prepared, but sometimes, you just can’t be prepared for what will happen and you’ve just gotta wing it. Thanks to John, I’ve gone from future obsessor to present enjoyer. Are those even words..? Well they are now! He’s very future oriented, but he never forgets to enjoy the present and live for now. Something I admire! 🙂
Not knowing what the future holds is one of life’s blessings in disguise. Sure it’s great to have a 3 year plan (for example as of a year ago, mine was to finish grad school with a 4.0, move back to the NW with John, and land a cool museum job). But going into detail about exactly how and when life will happen will just drive you nuts. Let life happen at the pace it’s happening, embrace what it brings, and adjust your plan accordingly. You’ll be much happier that way, and will be relieved you don’t have to worry about so much future what-if’s anymore.
>> The breakup
Ah yes…breakups. They suck. Especially when you’re the one getting broken up with. Just try to take the high road and be the best sport about it…just like getting over the dumb friend, you can take the same steps to getting your breakup out of your mind:
– unfollow them on instagram
– unfriend them on facebook
^ you don’t want to be seeing their “new life without you” posts anyways, so might as well check this one off before you see something you don’t like.
– Take a couple days to a week or so to process, cry, and get all your emotions out.
– Talk it out to a close friend to get it all off your chest if you need to.
– Don’t call them or message them asking them to explain their reasoning, or for closure if they didn’t have reasoning. This will only make it worse, and you won’t feel better.
– Take anything that reminds you of them and either discard it, or put it in a box and hide it in a faraway corner of your garage. No need to see old pictures or love notes from your time together.
– Accept that what’s done is done, you had a great time together, it wasn’t meant to be (the hardest part to accept), and you’ll be fine soon enough. It just means there’s someone better waiting for you, that this last person wasn’t the One God had planned for you. And that should be good enough to get you over it and back on your happy feet!
>> Doing something to get back at someone
Burn their house down, will them out of existence, trash their car…sure you can think of these in your head and laugh evilly to yourself while you’re at home in your pj’s, but don’t actually ACT these things out in Carrie Underwood or Miranda Lambert style. Hide your crazy and act like a lady.
If someone does something to you that you don’t like or is unfair, just say okay fine. Move on and stop thinking about ways to make this person’s life miserable.
>> Jealousy over someone else’s ______.
If you’re one to dwell on things happening to other people that aren’t yet happening to you, stop right now. Comparison is the thief of joy, and the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Instead, focus on your own success and remember that everyone’s path is unique to them and that you are just as blessed as everyone else, just in a different way.
>> Why some people are just bad, dumb, idiots, or cruel
People are human, and no one is perfect. They will make mistakes, make bad decisions, be jerk drivers, act selfishly, and will only look out for themselves. If you run into a person like this, don’t let them get under your skin. Don’t take their actions personally, and don’t dwell on their cruelty. Instead, know that they are probably going through something beyond your control and that they need kindness and Jesus. Choose to treat them with compassion and goodness instead of getting mad that they exist.
>> Why people just suck
This one relates to the dumb friend point. Some people won’t give you the apology you deserve, you won’t be able to fully comprehend why someone treated you the way they did, and you might even be met with hostility when you try to be kind to them. Now, you can spend your time wondering why someone is that way, or you can choose to accept that they’re just not a good person, put it out of your mind, and move on.
You never know, they may come around one day and apologize for what they did, but I wouldn’t sit around and wait on them. Let them walk their path, and you can walk your own knowing you did what you could to make the situation better.
>> When YOUR time will come
This is also another one that can suck us dry if we choose to dwell on it…when will it be your turn to get the dream job, get engaged, have babies, travel, move to a different place, whatever. Thinking about this though is useless! You never know when a break will come, or when it will be your turn. All you can do is wait patiently, work hard, be kind, and hope that you’ll be humble about it when it does come. Besides, if having a boyfriend or a ring or a career job or one-upping someone is your definition of personal success….we should prooobably talk. Yeah.
Also, a big break won’t solve all your problems. What WILL is a change of attitude 🙂 Instead of wondering why me or when is it my turn, just enjoy each day and live it to its fullest potential. Go out and do stuff and enjoy life instead of trolling through facebook, cursing everyone who got the thing before you did. There is SO MUCH more to life than being mopey and negative about things you can’t control!
I hope if any of these things were things you’ve let yourself dwell on in the past, you’ll be able to kick them to the curb and choose to think differently after reading this. It takes time, but once you’ve gotten these out of your head, you’ll be a much happier, more vibrant person.